Oar Health Member Stories: I Needed to Curb My Drinking But Didn’t Know How

Every morning for years, I’d wake up and think to myself, “I have to quit drinking.” Later in the day, the messaging would be lost in execution, and the drinking would begin. 

About a year ago, I began an online search for help with alcohol use disorder (AUD), which led me to find medication for AUD. It planted a seed in my mind, although that particular night, I didn’t do anything with the information. 

At the beginning of summer, during one of the hundreds of sleepless nights I encountered, I woke up and began searching on my phone for help. The first result was the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline, which wasn’t quite what I was looking for. Next, I found a Reddit page where many users commented about the Sinclair Method. When I Googled “The Sinclair Method,” Oar Health came up. I specifically searched for the term “online provider.” I didn’t want to see someone in person because I live in a very religious and conservative community in Northern Utah. I have a high-profile job and didn't want to go to the doctor’s office in my community. 

What appealed to me about the Sinclair Method is the idea that the cravings would go away and I could still drink socially. I didn’t want to go out to dinner and profess why I was abstaining from alcohol while I was with friends. 

My doctor knew about my drinking, but not to the full extent. At the time I saw her, I was on a diet without alcohol for a few weeks. She checked my liver levels. She asked if I wanted help with my drinking, and I declined. She alluded to the possibility of medication, but we didn’t delve into the topic any further because I thought I was kicking the habit; the diet with a few weeks of alcohol abstinence was fairly manageable at the time. 

From heavy to heavier drinking

I’ve been a heavy drinker for ten years and didn’t realize how bad it was until the pandemic. I had a couple of traumatic events happen at work, and it was clear that alcohol was my coping mechanism. 

I started when I was young as a weekend drinker. Following the traumatic event at my job, I was drinking almost daily. I would give myself the parameter of one or two drinks, but it always became three to five. I started drinking wine, but that wasn’t strong enough, so I began buying harder alcohol.

I thought I had control over it because I was still going to work every day. My drive home was always guided by the permission to drink as soon as I got home at 5 pm. That was a justification and rationalization—I couldn’t have a problem if I waited until after work. I also justified drinking wine with some of the studies on the positive health impacts of wine. 

Heavy drinking was affecting my health; I had memory gaps. I wasn't sleeping and would have to take a Zyrtec, which eventually stopped working. 

Trying to quit cold turkey

In one of my periods of trying to quit cold turkey, I remember being more emotional at work and crying to my boss. That’s out of character for me, but it underscored the difficulty I was having with alcohol. 

I wouldn’t get the shakes, but my cravings were intense. I’d justify going back to drinking by the promise of quitting tomorrow. When I would try to quit cold turkey, I’d see alcohol on every TV show. It was a constant trigger. 

“Don’t drink because you’ll turn into an alcoholic.”

AUD runs in my family, although you wouldn’t know it from the house I grew up in; there was never any alcohol in it. My mom’s parents had AUD, and my parents rarely drank. They would sneak a drink occasionally, but it was never more than that. My mother would say to me, “Don’t drink because my family is all alcoholics, and if you drink, you will probably be one too.”

My husband and kids would tell me I needed to quit. I grew up in a religious community where drinking is forbidden. Even though I’m no longer part of that community, the guilt is still in my mind.

Though I was raised very religiously, I’m not a religious person, and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was not something I wanted to try. I did attempt to quit on my own multiple times. 

When my daughter was younger, she’d need rides to hang with her friends. I’d get irritated because I knew I couldn't drink. That affected my ability to be a good mom—I’d be more worried about having a drink than spending time with her. 

My kids always used to point out that we drank too much. I was a poor role model. I’d tell them not to start drinking but ignore me and my drinking. 

One sleepless night

It was June when one sleepless night, in particular, would shift the trajectory of my drinking. I was going on a road trip. On the way, I listened to the audiobook of The Cure for Alcoholism and ordered the pills so that when I got home, they would be waiting for me. 

The day I returned, I was excited. At 4 pm, I’d take a pill, and at 5 pm, I’d have a drink. Immediately, it was clear how effective naltrexone was—I didn’t get a buzz. Usually, it would take me around 15 minutes to have a drink. The first day I took naltrexone, it took me four hours to finish one drink. Now, I take naltrexone any time I have a drink. I haven’t had a drink in over a week and haven’t had any cravings. 

If I had known what I know now about naltrexone

I’ve lost 10 pounds since I started taking the medication. Eating healthier is more accessible without alcohol. Because of the reduction in alcohol, I have more energy to cook and plan healthy meals because I sleep better. I sleep through most nights. 

Yesterday, one of my daughters said she saw cute wine glasses and wanted to buy them for me, but my other child mentioned I wasn’t drinking anymore. They’ve noticed my drinking changes on their own. 

If I had known five years ago this would have helped me so exponentially, I would have done it right from the get-go. I want more people to know this could help them, too. 

By substantially reducing my drinking, I’m saving more money. I spent at least $100 a week on alcohol. I’m a runner, and running became sporadic during my drinking. It was easy to wake up hungover and push off exercising until the next day. Last Saturday, I completed a ten-mile race.

I used to leave the party and drive straight to the liquor store. Now, our fridge is full of sparkling water instead of alcohol. Through Oar, I did the Sunnyside trial, which was helpful. It’s a daily check-in. I looked forward to reporting I’d met my goal the prior day. 

My drives home now include thoughts on what I’ll cook for dinner or listening to music. I’m not thinking about that 5 pm drink. Long-term, I want to continue for weeks of not drinking. I know I can go to a friend’s house and have a glass of wine throughout the night, and that’s it. That’s what success sounds like to me.

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